Relationships
Template for a 'State of the Union' Relationship Meeting Agenda
This directive provides a structure for couples to have regular non-confrontational check-in.
Your clients may report that the only time they discuss the state of their relationship is during a fight. Minor annoyances are ignored until they become major conflicts, and any attempt at a calm check-in is quickly derailed by old resentments. Without a dedicated, neutral structure for these conversations, important topics are either avoided or become volatile.
This directive provides a repeatable agenda for a scheduled meeting, shifting the dynamic from reactive crisis management to collaborative maintenance. The format helps contain the conversation to specific topics, preventing discussions from spiraling. The couple leaves with a clearer sense of where they stand and a reliable method for staying aligned.
Template for a 'State of the Union' Relationship Meeting Agenda
Use this agenda for your weekly check-in meeting. Schedule a 45 to 60-minute period when you will not be interrupted. Take turns being the meeting facilitator and note-taker each week. Adhere to the time limits for each section.
‘State of the Union’ Meeting Agenda
Date: [Date] Facilitator: [Name]
Appreciation (10 minutes) Each person shares 1-3 specific things they appreciated about the other this past week. The person receiving the appreciation says only, “Thank you.”
What’s Working Well (10 minutes) Discuss what has gone well for you as a couple and as individuals this week. You can address areas such as household, finances, work, family, intimacy, and social life.
Challenges and Requests (15 minutes) Each person raises one specific issue. State the issue as a problem to solve together, not as a complaint. Use this structure: “When [specific event] happens, I feel [emotion]. My request is [specific, actionable change].” The goal is to agree on one potential solution to try this week.
Planning and Connection (10 minutes) Coordinate your calendars for the upcoming week. Plan one shared activity or date. Confirm any action items or agreements made during this meeting.
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