Behavioral change
Script for Requesting Social Support for a Behavior Change
This script helps a client clearly and effectively ask friends or family for specific kinds of.
When a client decides to make a major behavioral change, their success often depends on the people around them. Yet they can be hesitant to ask for help, or their requests are so general that loved ones don’t know how to respond effectively. This gap can leave a client feeling unsupported just when they are most vulnerable, increasing the odds that they abandon their goal.
This script helps the client move from a vague hope for support to a clear, explicit request. It organizes their thoughts so they can tell key people precisely what actions will be helpful and which will be counterproductive. The client walks away with the confidence and the specific language needed to enlist their social circle as genuine allies in their effort.
Script for Requesting Social Support for a Behavior Change
Use the script below as a starting point. Adapt it to your own words and the specific person you are speaking with. Fill in the bracketed information before you have the conversation or send the message.
Hi [Name],
I am telling you this because I want you to know about a change I am making. I am working on [describe the behavior you are changing, e.g., ‘quitting smoking,’ ‘reducing my alcohol intake,’ ‘setting a consistent bedtime’].
This is a significant effort for me, and I would appreciate your support. I have thought about what would be genuinely helpful. Specifically, it would support me if you would [describe one or two specific helpful actions, e.g., ‘join me for a walk instead of suggesting we get a drink,’ or ‘gently remind me of my goal if you see me struggling’].
It is also important for me to tell you what is not helpful right now. Please do not [describe one or two specific unhelpful actions, e.g., ‘ask me for daily progress reports,’ or ’tell me stories about other people who tried to do this’].
I am not asking you to manage this for me or to be responsible for my success. I am only letting you know what I am doing and how you could assist.
Thank you for listening.
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