School counseling
Peer Conflict Role and Contribution Analysis
Student is in a peer conflict and sees themselves as entirely blameless, which prevents them from understanding their own role or changing the dynamic.
Most peer conflicts involve both people. One student might start it, but the other escalates it. Or both contribute to an environment where conflict is likely. When a student sees themselves as completely innocent, they stay stuck. They cannot change what they do not see themselves doing.
This analysis helps the student recognize their own contribution without erasing responsibility from the other person.
Peer Conflict Role and Contribution Analysis
Describe the conflict: what happened, who did what.
Now be very honest: what did I do that made it worse?
(Did I respond with aggression? Did I tell others about it? Did I laugh when someone made fun of them? Did I exclude them? Did I provoke them? Did I go back on something I said I would do?)
Do not excuse it. Just see it.
What was the other person doing:
What could I have done differently in that moment:
This is not about blame. It is about seeing your own power in the situation.
You cannot control what the other person does. You can control what you do.
If you had responded differently, what might have happened:
Some conflicts would still happen because the other person would still escalate. That is on them.
Some conflicts would stop or shift because your different response would change the dynamic. That is on you.
Figure out which is which.
Then, moving forward, do your part differently. You cannot fix this if the other person keeps escalating. But you can stop feeding it.
Talk to a counselor about how to handle it if it escalates again. But do your part first.
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