School counseling
Peer Conflict Resolution Preparation Worksheet
Student has a conflict with a peer that has become toxic and neither is able to resolve it without adult mediation, but student is unprepared for the conversation.
Peer conflicts escalate when students are unprepared. They either avoid the conversation entirely, or they go in hot and the conflict spirals. This worksheet walks the student through what they want to say, what the other person might say, and how to keep the conversation focused on resolution rather than blame.
Preparation makes conflict conversations less scary and more productive.
Peer Conflict Resolution Preparation Worksheet
Before you meet with this person, write your answers:
What is the actual problem? (Not what they did to you, but what needs to change.)
What do you think their version of the problem is?
What do you want to say to them? (Start with: “I want to talk about what happened because…”)
What are you asking them to do differently?
What might they say in response? (They might deny it. They might get defensive. They might say you started it.)
If they get defensive, what will you say to bring it back to the problem?
What outcome would feel like a win to you? (Do not say they apologize unless you actually mean that. Usually it is: we stop taking sides, we do not trash talk each other, we can be in the same space without tension.)
During the conversation, focus on the future, not the past. Not: “You did this to me.” Instead: “I need us to stop [behavior] because it makes it hard for me to be around you.”
If the conversation gets too heated, say: “I want to figure this out, but I need to take a break.” And step away.
You are not trying to make them see it your way. You are trying to find a way forward that does not poison the space.
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