Avoidance
Hierarchy of Approach Goals for Social Re-engagement
This tool helps a client break down the overwhelming goal of "being more social" into small.
When a client says they want to “be more social,” the goal itself is often so abstract it fuels their avoidance. They understand the problem of their isolation but feel paralyzed by the prospect of change, lacking a clear or manageable starting point for re-engagement. This vagueness can reinforce the very pattern of withdrawal they want to break.
This directive helps translate that broad intention into a concrete, sequential plan. It provides a structure for breaking down the overwhelming objective into a series of discrete, achievable behaviors. The client leaves not with a vague hope, but with a clear and personalized list of immediate next steps.
Hierarchy of Approach Goals for Social Re-engagement
Rate each social situation below on two scales. First, rate your anticipated anxiety from 0 (none) to 10 (maximum). Second, rate your current willingness to try the action from 0 (not at all willing) to 10 (completely willing). There is a column for any specific notes.
| Social Situation | Anxiety Level (0-10) | Willingness to Try (0-10) | My Notes |
|---|---|---|---|
| Make eye contact and nod at a stranger. | |||
| Say “hello” or “thank you” to a cashier or server. | |||
| Ask a store employee for help finding an item. | |||
| Give a brief compliment to a stranger. | |||
| Make a phone call to get information or make an appointment. | |||
| Ask a coworker or classmate a simple question about their day. | |||
| Eat a meal alone in a public place. | |||
| Sit in a common area at work or school instead of alone. | |||
| Join a conversation with two or more people you know. | |||
| Share a brief personal opinion in a small group discussion. | |||
| Introduce yourself to someone new at a class or meeting. | |||
| Invite a friend or acquaintance for coffee or a meal. | |||
| Attend a social event where you know only one or two people. | |||
| Voice a differing opinion respectfully in a conversation. | |||
| Initiate a conversation with someone you want to get to know better. |
Generated with Rapport7 — rapport7.com