Communication
Converting a Complaint into a Request
The client's communication in a key relationship is dominated by criticism rather than clear.
Your client can clearly articulate what’s wrong in a key relationship, but their communication is dominated by criticism and complaints. They report feeling frustrated and unheard, while their partner or colleague grows distant or defensive. The cycle of blame and withdrawal leaves the actual problem untouched, session after session.
This directive provides a clear, repeatable method for translating a criticism into a tangible request. It shifts the focus from blame to a forward-looking solution, making it more likely the other person will listen and respond constructively. The client leaves with a practical way to initiate a different kind of conversation.
Converting a Complaint into a Request
Select one key relationship where communication is difficult. For the next seven days, write down any complaints you have about this person as they occur to you. These can be things you say aloud or only think. After you have at least five, use the table below to convert each complaint into a request. A complaint focuses on what is wrong. A request is a specific, positive, and actionable statement. Formulate the request as a sentence beginning with “Would you be willing to…”. Do not show this exercise to the other person.
| The Complaint (The exact words you thought or said) | The Feeling This Creates in Me | The Unmet Need | The Request (Starts with ‘Would you be willing to…’) |
|---|---|---|---|
Generated with Rapport7 — rapport7.com