Grief and loss
A Template for Communicating Needs to a Support Network During Grief
This template helps a grieving person ask for specific; practical help from friends and family.
When a client is navigating acute grief, their support system often wants to help but defaults to vague offers like, “Let me know what I can do.” For the person grieving, the cognitive load of identifying a need, matching it to a person, and then making the ask is often too much. This dynamic can leave the client feeling isolated and their network feeling uncertain how to provide meaningful support.
This template helps the client translate their needs into concrete, delegable tasks for friends and family. It bypasses the difficulty of in-the-moment requests by preparing a clear communication ahead of time. The client receives the practical assistance they require, and their support network is given specific, effective ways to contribute.
A Template for Communicating Needs to a Support Network During Grief
This is a template you can adapt and send to people who have offered to help. Fill in the bracketed information. You can use it for an email, a text, or as a guide for a phone call.
Subject: An update from [Your Name]
Dear [Friend/Family Member’s Name],
Thank you for your support. Many people have asked how they can help. To make it easier, I have created a list of specific things that would be useful.
If you are able and would like to help, please look at the list below. Let me know by replying to this message which task you would like to take on and when you might be able to do it.
Please do not feel obligated. Knowing you are thinking of me is enough.
[ ] Drop off a meal on [Day of the week]. [ ] Pick up a few groceries. I can send a list. [ ] Run an errand for me, such as [Specific errand, e.g., going to the post office]. [ ] Help with a household task: [Specific task, e.g., mowing the lawn, taking out the trash]. [ ] Come over and sit with me for a while. No need to talk. [ ] Send me a text on [Specific day or time] to check in. [ ] Go for a short walk with me in the neighborhood. [ ] Help with my children/pet for [Number] hours on [Day]. [ ] Drive me to an appointment on [Date]. [ ] A different kind of help you would like to offer: [Allow them to suggest something].
Thank you,
[Your Name]
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